it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
