Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
