1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
