It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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