they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My life is pants optional.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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