if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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