my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
