i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
