i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize