My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
