I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
