You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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