I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
