i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
