Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
