pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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