She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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