Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize