He is such a slut. More and more my type.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
