Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
