Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
