No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
