The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
