Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
