U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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