I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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