i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
