dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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