It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
