He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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