Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I need to calm my uterus...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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