I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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