This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
