Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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