So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
