Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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