Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Couch. On fire.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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