I bet he comes in French.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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