why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
handjob tips. give me some.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize