Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
