My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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