I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
