I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
