More tranny stories later!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
