.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
