I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
