so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
