Small penises have feelings too.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
