nut hugger
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm always down for nudity.
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