Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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