Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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