I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
