32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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