I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
