About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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