The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm really busy with my period
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