i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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