no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
