honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
