I have demons in me.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
