whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
