I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can you bring me the toilet please
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
