That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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